One thing I've struggled with my whole life is being frustrated with myself. And it comes from my tendency to be a bit of a perfectionist.
I don't like things done. I want things done well. When things don't go exactly as I had anticipated, I can get very frustrated with myself. And there are times when I am my most harsh and impatient critic.
That happened recently after I took my first treatment for osteoporosis. Before the procedure, I read all of the pre-treatment instructions and I also studied a little bit about some of the possible side effects.
The most common side effect was bone or muscle achiness. Well, that didn't seem too bad, so I went ahead and proceeded with the treatment because I knew in the long run getting treated for osteoporosis would make my body healthier.
I expected to feel a little out of sorts for a day or two, but by the end of the week when I still wasn't feeling like myself, I started to get frustrated. There were some household tasks that needed to be done, but I just didn't have the energy to do them.
It was frustrating to look at something that needed to be done and know that I really wasn't up to doing it. Then there was Mom. Although there was nothing out of the ordinary that she needed, just doing our daily tasks was really a drain. So by the end of the day, I was really pretty much spent.
I was really frustrated with myself that I couldn't do everything that I would normally do. In the early days of our care journey, if I felt this way, I would just push through and make it happen.
But I've learned over time that I have to pace myself in a way that I don't hurt myself because if I hurt myself, she's the one that's ultimately going to suffer. My former neighbor who also cared for her parents shared a really important saying with me.
"If you stumble, she falls."
So I've learned over time that even though I'm frustrated about something, I have to pace myself so that neither one of us gets hurt. I'm still frustrated, but I'm pacing myself and taking my time, accepting that everything will get done just not at the pace that I might want them to be done.
My encouragement for you this week is to be patient with yourself and know that everything will get done.
Be well until next time.
-Dr. Sheri
Dr. Sheri L. Yarbrough is an author, caregiver, and founder of Praxis Senior Care-Giving Solutions, a consulting business that works with organizations to provide working family care-givers with practical and easily implemented strategies to help them manage their care journey.
View Dr. Yarbrough's weekly blog on all things caregiving from a caregiver's perspective.
Listen to Dr. Yarbrough's Podcast: Straight Talk for Giving-Care.
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